I had a party, a relative got so drunk with violence the cops had to come over, SHOULD I CALL & FORGIVE HER?

What a mess. If someone was at my house and was so drunk and violent I had to call the police to get them under control I'd be pretty p.o. at them. And then to create all that drama the next a.m., well that's a double p.o. If I acted that way I'd call to apologize. Unless you feel compelled (it's family and you're not a drunk, violent psycho) for whatever reason, just let it go, let her calm down, and say hi at the birthday party. Good Luck.