I do not love my mother. What should I do?

Well I came from a very simular life and if you dont feel love from your mom than its not unusual that you cant feel love for her.Me and my mom were astranged most of my life except when I had something good to say.But then one day my mom called and said she had cancer my stepfather had ped away 2 years before and she was all alone.The doctors gave her 6 months to live.None of the other family would help 3 older brothers and it was on me now anyway to make a long story short my mom came to live with me till the day she died 6 mo later and we tried to fix our relationship but even on her death bed she still could not bring herself to be the mother I needed and wanted to have.Sometimes this is just the way it is dont be sad or mad at yourself or even with your mom not everyone was cut out for motherhood do what you can to keep some kind of contact with her unless it has a negative result on you but keep it limited if your relationship is unhealthy.Live your own life and be happy with the people you do love dont stress about something you cant fix, fogive her and yourself for feeling this way and give yourself permission to be happy with or without the love for your mother.It will take time but you can do it I have faith in you.And maybe try telling your mom what you told us be honest with her about how you feel then move on.Good luck and congrats on your new life live it dont let it live you.